Yes, It's time for Question Time again. Just turning over to the ABC and it hasn't started started just quite yet because the Prime Minister is speaking on indulgence to the missing Malaysian plane.
And now, for your pleasure, I present Paraphrased Question Time.
You can thank me later,
Spencer
First Question: Will the Prime Minister release the Commission of Audit Report before the Western Australia election?
Answer: We will release it when we release it. (In other words, not only no, but FUCK NO!)
Second Question: I admit to losing the thread of this question but it doesn't matter -- this was a government side question and its only purpose was to allow the Government to prattle on about something which aggrandizes them while disparaging the opposition. This one was about roads in the electorate of Robinson (wherever the heck that is).
Answer: The tagline of this answer is about cutting out 21 sets of traffic lights though use of a tunnel (at least until the tunnel is blocked, or closed, and then there is a bigger issue). And there was a final thought that roads aren't really roads, they are paths to the future.
Third Question: Prime Minister, did you add a single dollar or a single meter of road as a result of your re-announcement yesterday?
Answer: I want to be a deliverer. I want to be a builder. This government will get things done. (In other words, not yet, and in all actuality, probably not at all)
Fourth Question: Will the Treasurer outline the importance of repealing the mining tax, and what will that mean to my constituents in the electorate of Swan?
Answer: We want to get rid of the taxes because the big business that is financing our government wants us to. And Rio Tinto says ditch the tax because they don't like it, but they don't pay it anyway.
Interruption in which the Speaker to once again show she does not know how to be impartial (a point of order which was disallowed by the Speaker).
Fifth Question: Why is the Prime Minister hiding his 900 page plan of cuts for Western Australia, and don't the people of Western Australia deserve to know what they are hiding before the election on April 4?
Objection by the Leader of the House as the question was argument and a Point of Order by the Opposition, which was disallowed by the Speaker.
Answer: We are carefully considering the report, and it will be published once the government has considered the recommendations in it. Then there was some tangential prattle about the Opposition and not repealing the Mining Tax. (In other words, something in there is unfavorable to the Government and they don't want it to get out before an election because it could hurt the chances for the Government candidate.)
Sixth Question: Could the Minister for Foreign Affairs tell the house what the plans are to fund agriculture and training development for the women of Papua New Guinea?
Answer: Our research shows that if women were given access to the research already out there, everything can improve by 25%. Additionally, if training is available, things will only get better, and we have announced scholarships, one of them to a Papua New Guinea woman (aren't we great???). But we really can't do much more, and it's not our fault because the aid budget that the Government inherited was so bad.
Seventh Question: Minister for the Environment, the Carbon Tax has penalized Woodside Energy unfairly. As such, what impact has the Carbon Tax had on Western Australia and why should it be repealed forthwith?
Answer: Woodside Energy don't want to pay the tax. They are funding our government and they asked us to repeal it. That was our deal and we have to honor our deal with our financial backers.
Eighth Question: Has the Minister for Justice received a full copy of the Commission of Audit Report?
Answer: No
Ninth Question: Could the Treasurer outline the challenges the the budget faces in the next decade, and can he discuss the status of budget inherited from the previous Government.
Answer: The previous Government left us with a dreadful budget. So we have to cut our tax revenue so that we can fix it. We have to make the hard choices and cut programs because they left us not enough money to do what we want to make our financial backers happy.
Interruption for the Speaker to ask the Treasurer to withdraw the use of the word hypocrite.
Tenth Question: Prime Minister, don't Western Australians deserve to know what the government is keeping secret in the Commission of Audit report?
Answer: How low can the opposition sink with these kinds of scare tactics? And a few urges to cut the taxes our financial backers don't like. (In other words, something really bad we don't want out to ruin the election.)
Interesting to note, the Prime Minister used the word hypocrite to describe a particular member of the Opposition and was not challenged or sanctioned.
Eleventh Question: Will the Minister for Immigration update the house on the last successful people smuggling adventure?
Answer: It's been 88 days since people have landed in Australia by boat. We've stopped the boats. And the people of Western Australia are going to an election, and the Government is doing it's job. (In other words, we're spending money on this plan to keep the Australian public occupied so they can't think about what we're really doing with the big business financial backers.)
Twelfth Question: Prime Minister, there has been a Senate Order to release the Commission to Audit report to the Senate, why are you not releasing it and what don't you want Western Australia to know?
Answer: I am surprised that the Leader of the Opposition thinks that there is something sinister because the Senate issued an order and we haven't responded, especially considering that the previous Government failed to comply with over 40 Senate Orders for requests for documents. (In other words, something really big that will most definitely affect the election.)
Interruption for a Point of Order by the Opposition, overruled by the Speaker.
Thirteenth Question: Minister for Foreign Affairs, how is the Government supporting efforts to locate the missing Malaysian air Flight MH370
Answer: Immediately after the flight went missing, we offered our support in whatever manner Malaysia deemed best, but we still don't know anything more.
(Editorial aside: this the was the only question today which was fully and truthfully answered.)
Fourteenth Question: Why is the Prime Minister cutting support to the children of veterans who have been injured to killed? Will he reverse his position?
Answer: We were upfront that this benefit will be removed because it was budgeted to be paid for by the Mining Tax, which we're eliminating. And I know it's an unpopular decision, but we're doing it anyway because this Government is keeping its commitments to the big business financial backers. And the people of Australia will understand.
Fifteenth Question: Minister for Defense, how is the Government assisting retired military personnel by changes to the superannuation?
Answer: The Government is ensuring a "fair dinkum" deal for Military families, but the Senate, which we don't control., is hampering our efforts by not repealing the Carbon Tax.
Interruption for Point of Order by the Opposition, which was overruled by the Speaker
Sixteenth Question: Prime Minister, only 1200 children receive the benefit, why is it being cut when the Government can fund other, more expensive programs.
Answer: The truth is that is an election commitment we made (to our big business financial backers) and we are going to carry through with our election commitments. "No Government can continue to be generous with other people's money."
Seventeenth Question: Minister for Small Business, how is the government reducing red tape for owners of small business and how will this help the members of my district of Ryan?
Answer: We are trying, but the big meanies in the Opposition left us with a horrible situation, and won't help us by agreeing to change requirements, or repealing the Carbon Tax.
Eighteenth Question: Prime Minister, why are you not reversing the decision on the Military family benefit?
Answer: Because we made an election commitment (to our big business financial backers) and we are keeping our election commitments.
Motion for leave to table a document from the Western Australia RSL leader; Leave was not granted.
Nineteenth Question: Minister for Education, how is the Government getting on with fulfilling its commitments in education?
Answer: We created a group to address student outcomes and a curriculum review. We want to expand independent public schools. (In other words, we want to make it so we have to pay less.) (Note: the Minister for Education put on a voice to quote former Prime Minister Gillard speaking in support of the current Government plan.)
Member for Perth ejected under Standing Order 94A.
Twentieth Question: Prime Minister, the military benefit for the 1200 children costs $250,000, which is less than the cost of the Government's Paid Parental Leave Scheme payout to only 4 women. Why are 4 well-paid women more worthy than 1200 children?
Answer: We made a commitment at the election and everyone knew it, and this Government needs to, and intends to, keep our commitments (to our big business financial backers). Besides, the Veterans understand our position and decision.
Twenty-First Question: Minister for Health, how have delays in delivering a promised Super Clinic affected the people of Western Australia?
Answer: This Government will deliver on its promises, but this was the previous government's promise, so we have nothing to do with it, and there is nothing we can do about it. In short, it's all the previous Government's fault, and by the way, Western Australia, please vote for us in the upcoming election.
Prime Minister says "After 21 well-answered questions, I ask that all further questions be placed on the notice paper." (Look I can get a dig in to the opposition…aren't I clever?)
