Eurovision 2016, Final -- A Review

It’s Final Night for Eurovision.  I’ve been careful to avoid spoilers all day so I get to watch what happens live-ish.

I’ve invited my new friend Guillaume to help me tonight, so we’ll both have a thumbs up or down on the performance — actually one or two flags of the country, and a couple of comments.  We’ll also pick our top three at the end.

Before the start of the Final, we had some nibbles (cheese & crackers and my housemate’s homemade ranch dip & chips) and a Lemon Creme Pie my housemate made.  It was a wonderful feast, and I’ve been promised popcorn for later in the broadcast (because it’s bouncy like me) and ginger beer.  I’m having quite the party over here with all my friends.

Because it’s already tomorrow in Australia by the time the contest actually occurs in Europe, we have to wait until the evening after it airs in Europe to see it.  Well, we could get up at 5:00 am and watch it live, but I have other jobs to do at 5:00 am, so we wait until the evening rebroadcast. to watch it.  That does mean that we have to be on guard against spoilers.  My housemates mentioned they might have seen the results, but they have not told me, or Guillaume, anything.

Ohh, it’s starting.  I can hardly contain my bounces!  I wonder where it will be next year.

The parade of entrants is a bit strange.  I’m finding it hard to figure out the countries with the flag projections on the strange paper dresses.  My housemate has the running order up for me so I can follow along.  Julia and Sam are saying that Justin Timberlake is the interval performer.  I hope that doesn’t mean the US will be a participating country next year.  I know my housemate is an American, but I think there are some things that Americans should not have their fingers in.

I am sorry the Belorussian did not make it through to the Final.  Honestly, Europe, what were you thinking?  Live wolves and naked performances?  That’s the best of Eurovision all in one act!  Why do the ones I really like never make it as the winners?  Some of them don’t make it past the semi-final.

And we’re off!

Belgium
Laura Tesoro, What’s the Pressure 
Tigger:  It’s definitely a bouncy way to start the Final.  🇧🇪🇧🇪
Guillaume:  This is a pop radio song.  I like it.  🇧🇪🇧🇪
 
The different countries have different fonts on the postcard intros.  That’s cool, but I still miss the flag making from 2014.

Czech Republic
Gabriela Gunčíková, I Stand 
Tigger:  A bit quiet after the bouncy beginning.  🇨🇿
Guillaume:  It’s nothing special, but I wouldn’t turn it off.  🇨🇿🇨🇿
 
The Netherlands
Douwe Bob, Slow Down
Tigger:  I like this one.  It’s a favorite.  🇳🇱🇳🇱
Guillaume:  Cool costumes.  But the song has a nice message and a happy bounce.  🇳🇱🇳🇱
 
Azerbaijan
Samra, Miracle 
Tigger:  I remember this one.  I thought the gold costume and microphone was a subtle message to the voters.  🇦🇿
Guillaume:  I get the feeling that she was influenced by the Spice Girls.  It’s catchy enough.  🇦🇿
 
Hungary
Freddie, Pioneer
Tigger:  The drummer is into the performance.🇭🇺🇭🇺
Guillaume:  I like the whistling!  🇭🇺🇭🇺
 
It’s going to be hard to pick my top three!

Italy
Francesca Michielin, No Degree of Separation 
Tigger:  I like the balloons.  🇮🇹🇮🇹
Guillaume:  Ohh, it’s lovely.  🇮🇹🇮🇹
 
Israel
Hovi Star, Made of Stars 
Tigger:  One of my favorites.  🇮🇱🇮🇱
Guillaume:  It’s a movie title theme to me. But great work from the back-up dancers in the hoop. 🇮🇱
 
Bulgaria
Pole Genova, If Love Was a Crime 
Tigger:  I like this one, the bounces, the fun, it’s a favorite.  🇧🇬🇧🇬
Guillaume:  I can see teenage girls singing this into their hairbrushes. 🇧🇬
 
I have nothing but favorites so far.  It’s going to be so hard to pick just three.

Sweden
Frans, If I Were Sorry 
Tigger:  It’s a bit boring after the bounces before from Bulgaria. 🇸🇪
Guillaume:  Quite aside from the poor grammar (if I were…), it seems like he’s a Passenger fan and trying too hard to copy that artist. 🇸🇪
 
Germany
Jamie-Lee, Ghost
Tigger:  I like the head band, but not much else. 🇩🇪
Guillaume:  The costume, the lyrics, the music, and the stage decoration are incongruous. It’s a bit distracting to the performance. 🇩🇪
 
France
Amir, J’ai Cherché 
Tigger:  It’s not bad, but I can’t see it winning. 🇫🇷🇫🇷
Guillaume:  I find myself wishing it were all in one language rather than switching back and forth.  Not the best of the night. 🇫🇷
 
Poland
Michał Szpak, Color of Your Life 
Tigger:  I still like this one.  And he has a cool coat. 🇵🇱🇵🇱
Guillaume:  Another movie title theme song. 🇵🇱
 
Australia
Dami Im, Sound of Silence
Tigger:  I just don’t really like this song. 🇦🇺
Guillaume:  It’s a power ballad, but not one of my favorites of the evening. 🇦🇺🇦🇺
 
Cyprus
Minus One, Alter Ego 
Tigger:  Ohh yes, the cages.  It’s harder rock than I usually prefer, but I like it. 🇨🇾🇨🇾
Guillaume:  I would say it’s a dose of alternative or the staid competition, but this is Eurovision. 🇨🇾🇨🇾
 
If you listen to all the lyrics, there are many miracles needed on this stage.
 
Serbia
Sanja Vučić ZAA, Goodbye (Shelter) 
Tigger:  Not one of my favorites, but I would feel bad voting against the song. 🇷🇸🇷🇸
Guillaume:  Good message, and not a bad performance. 🇷🇸🇷🇸
 
Lithuania
Donny Montell, I’ve Been Waiting for This Night 
Tigger:  It still feels like a boy band audition for a reality singing competition show. 🇱🇹
Guillaume:  I have nothing to say about this one.  It’s easily forgettable and that’s sad for the performer. 🇱🇹
 
Croatia
Nina Kraljić, Lighthouse 
Tigger:  I like it, but not enough to be a top three pick. 🇭🇷🇭🇷
Guillaume:  Interesting costume, which almost overpowers the performance and the performer. 🇭🇷
 
Russia
Sergey Lazarev, You Are the Only One 
Tigger:  Hearing it again, I like it more. I may have to consider this a top choice. 🇷🇺🇷🇺
Guillaume:  The performance trickery is very cool.  The song feels average. 🇷🇺🇷🇺
 
Spain
Barei, Say Yay! 
Tigger:  I want to like this one because the title has such potential, but I just do not. 🇪🇸
Guillaume:  Sorry, Spain, I cannot say Yay. I do not like this one at all. 🇪🇸
 
Latvia
Justs, Heartbeat 
Tigger:  It’s just so-so for me. 🇱🇻
Guillaume:  Shouldn’t the heartbeat graphic look like the readout on the machines on tv and in the movies, more than static noise? 🇱🇻
 
Ukraine
Jamala, 1944 
Tigger:  This is another song I feel bad for not liking, but I don’t. 🇺🇦
Guillaume:  Even if you don’t speak the language, this is a powerful song, and the performance is extremely personal. My favorite performance so far. 🇺🇦🇺🇦
 
Malta
Ira Losco, Walk on Water 
Tigger:  It’s an average song. 🇲🇹
Guillaume:  There is nothing wrong with the song, but nothing outstanding about it either. 🇲🇹
 
Georgia
Nina Kocharov and Young Georgian Lolitaz, Midnight Gold 
Tigger:  It’s okay.  If there weren’t other better things, I’d pop it in my top list.  There’s a fun beat to it. 🇬🇪🇬🇪
Guillaume:  Another case of performance trickery overshadowing the performance. 🇬🇪🇬🇪
 
Austria
ZOË, Loin d’ici 
Tigger:  She’s a fairytale princess. It’s happy and fun. 🇦🇹🇦🇹
Guillaume:  This would be very nice to fall asleep to, and I mean that in a good way. 🇦🇹🇦🇹
 
United Kingdom
Joe and Jake, You’re Not Alone
Tigger:  It has a nice bounce and it looks like fun. 🇬🇧🇬🇧
Guillaume:  It has a good radio feel. 🇬🇧🇬🇧
 
Armenia
Ivete Mukuchyan, LoveWave
Tigger:  Not one of my favorites. 🇦🇲
Guillaume:  Armenia’s Beyonce. Good for her. 🇦🇲🇦🇲
 
Our Top Three Picks:
Tigger:  Belgium, The Netherlands, Israel
Guillaume:  Ukraine, Serbia, Italy
 
That’s for us.  Hope you enjoyed the show this year, and that your favorite ends up a winner.
I’m sorry it’s over for another year, but it’s hard staying up late three nights in a row.
Guillaume and I will be back next year.

See you then,
Tigger & Guillaume